A glimpse into what it's like to live without our daughter and sister. We love you, Molly. We ache for your every day. I pray that you can feel our love, wherever you are now.
30 years ago, as a young man, I experienced an extremely traumatic death which completely upended my life. During those early years of my lifelong grief experience, few saw what I termed the “insanity of grief” which included compulsive rituals, crisis of faith, out of the ordinary behaviors, unrelenting body aches, gasping for air, etc. Individual and group therapy helped but so did quietly meeting other grieving people who could see “beyond the eyes.” Even now, though I have rebuilt a wonderful life and fewer people know what happened to me all those years ago, I still grieve for the life not lived. Not a day goes by when I don’t wish to go home to what once was.
Your raw and unfiltered testimony this morning beautifully captures what so many of us experience or will experience at some point in our lives. Seeing another grief traveler is comforting.
I love listening to you talk about the beauty and the sadness of life-the coexistence of it all. Not depressing- just real and raw and also beautiful at the same time. 💙💙💙
Kaye, I see you. This is so raw, and I relate to literally everything you say. I’m not going to congratulate you on being so brave (although you obviously are) because I know from experience that it doesn’t really feel like a choice. I just want you to know that witnessing (and I choose this word very intentionally) the intensity of a mother’s grief today has made carrying my own feel more bearable. I can see from so many of the comments that you are doing this for many other’s too, a beautiful legacy for your lovely Molly xxx
You're so brave to share this in an unfiltered, completely honest way. I was in tears, still am. My third child was born prematurely on the morning of my birthday in 1993, and he died several hours later that night. I held him after they took him off life support. I was detached because I was in shock. A few of my nurses and other support staff were sobbing. On my birthday every year, I open a box that I have tucked in my closet with his photo, his footprints, and the blanket I held him on. His ashes are in the ocean. The pain of losing him (David) was a pain I'd never felt before or since. I grieved so deeply.
I literally shudder to think of your pain, and I so admire your courage for talking openly about all of it. It WILL help people understand that even though we smile and carry on however we can in our grief, the pain never leaves us. My belief is that Molly will always be with you in your cherished memories and in your heart.
Kaye, I’m at a loss. I can’t find the words. Your sharing about Jon is deeply sad and beautiful. I can picture him, and I believe that Molly is with him, reaching out to him, maybe touching his face. As I write this I ‘see’ Molly standing next to you, smiling/beaming, as you talk with us. She’s so proud of you and is lending you strength and comfort.
Just thank you for being so real and unafraid and raw. You are helping all of us more than you know. As a friend says “ Arms around.”
I feel everything you’re feeling, Kaye. In fact, had many of your shared feelings today. My wife went away for the weekend and being home with the boys without her felt like another part of me missing. Going through all the normal activities in life without someone who is usually there.
Matt, I am so grateful that my friend, Jen, told me about you and your family, and that we've connected. No one can understand this the way that we do. Being understood is everything. I hope to meet you in person someday.
Kaye, I am at a loss for words. My beautiful, 96 you mother passed last year and I am still waiting for the big cry that is in me. I miss her intensely. I too worry about what is ahead for my grandkids. Hugs from NH
I truly feel your pain although I never had a child. I couldn't physically. With that said, I've had other losses I had to face - It about destroyed me. I'm a fragment of who I was in some ways but, I'm also stronger than many who don't get the *knowledge I have learned from my losses.
I believe Molly is around you.
She visits & goes back to Heaven. As does my Mother.... She kisses me goodnight on the forehead every night. I felt it before and thought something was on my hair or face. Nope. It's her. It was validated by a good friend of mine who's a natural Empathic. She doesn't do it for a living or anything. It just happens. She doesn't look for it to happen. I asked her what she saw and she told me. It confirmed the touching I feel on rare occasion, at night on my head area laying in bed.
However, we can't always feel them or even see them. It's an energy that happens & it's amazing when it does happen. But, it doesn't mean you aren't being loved or visited or touched if you don't feel it.
Its a fascinating thing. It's got no rhyme or reason ...the spirit is powerful but it also has limitations on human form . I think.
We humans limit ourselves a lot by overthinking and expecting.
Usually in our most relaxed state of being, we can encounter a spirit by seeing, gearing &/or feeling them.
Children are very protected on the other side of here. Children souls are taken to Heaven when they cross over into the light.
. And you're still going through heavy grief. So, you aren't able to receive her from her realm like some around you have bc the mouse and pain is so loud.
It's ok. She loves you immensely. Don't ever think she's not around bc she is..she comes and goes. She is alive in her spirit...soul.
She does sit with you all.
Yes our loved ones can do that in Spirit form. They can move about. They learn as they go.
It's amazing actually.
So, I think something that can help.ypu is to sit & talk to her like you use to. She's still able to hear you. Call her. Laugh with her. Cry..laugh..feel . It's ok. She's gone from her human form body, but her SOUL is always alive.
Ever look into reincarnation? It's very real for many of us. Eventually the soul moves onto another life but not until this one is fulfilled.
THAT is not written for us to see. We don't know the exact time of this as we live on Earth. It'll happen naturally when our spirits are ready I presume. Idk. All I know is we don't live one life. We live many. Most of us do, if not all of us.
You asky Why Molly? Accidents happen and it just happened. No real planned reason. It just happens. That's why life is so precious. ❤️
I'm sending you love and support..
Know that God is real. Jesus is real. They are both the Light. The light envelopes your daughter & all your loved ones gone before her.
God adores you all. He knew us in spirit form before we came here as humans. Try to imagine that and Molly smiling at you. God and Molly. They're both there.
Love, Ancilee (Princess of God is the meaning of my name at birth)
I was an Atheist teenager. I grew out of it and towards God and then Jesus eventually. It took me 45 years .I'll be 60 in June. Peace be with you. That's what God wants for us. Peace within. Knowledge. Understanding.
You've experienced true love with Molly your daughter, your boys=children, husband & Family. You're God's child. Remember that. I'm not talking religion.
Spiritually, you are God's child, so is Molly....
.... EVERYONE IS connected to the Light before and at birth and in death unless they refuse to go into the Light up on death of their bodies. It is what it is. Most go right into the Light. No reason not too.
I feel Molly did just that.
She had others on the Other side waiting for her. Family.
❤️
Yes we miss them but they know that and love us still. XO. Molly definitely loves you and she's not going anywhere. She's still around her family and also goes to her home in Heaven.
We learn things there ..to let go ..to see things we didn't before.
And we do that here too.
All in time..we learn more and more. That's God's plan...love, learn, grow. God bless you all. I'm sending a prayer to Molly now. I feel she's ok. I just feel calm and see smiles in my minds eye. That's it. She's beautiful and glowing. ❤️.
The first anniversary of my losing my Jordan is next week. It's always there, the pain is intolerable but the world keeps spinning on and so must we, I suppose. Everything you share hits home. Sadly, as my only child, it's very difficult.
Dear Kaye, I met you in Twitter while Molly was in ICU. You have come a long way, but you are right we are broken parents, and never will be whole again. So true so many others that have never lost a child do not understand what we go through every day and night. So happy to hear Nate and Eli have the support of that grief camp to go to. Thank you for letting me listen to your podcast. And no Hallmark has not declared a special day for us, we are invisible.
30 years ago, as a young man, I experienced an extremely traumatic death which completely upended my life. During those early years of my lifelong grief experience, few saw what I termed the “insanity of grief” which included compulsive rituals, crisis of faith, out of the ordinary behaviors, unrelenting body aches, gasping for air, etc. Individual and group therapy helped but so did quietly meeting other grieving people who could see “beyond the eyes.” Even now, though I have rebuilt a wonderful life and fewer people know what happened to me all those years ago, I still grieve for the life not lived. Not a day goes by when I don’t wish to go home to what once was.
Your raw and unfiltered testimony this morning beautifully captures what so many of us experience or will experience at some point in our lives. Seeing another grief traveler is comforting.
I love listening to you talk about the beauty and the sadness of life-the coexistence of it all. Not depressing- just real and raw and also beautiful at the same time. 💙💙💙
Your girl, your first. Bright and beautiful. Loving. Love. It’s an honor to listen .
Kaye, I see you. This is so raw, and I relate to literally everything you say. I’m not going to congratulate you on being so brave (although you obviously are) because I know from experience that it doesn’t really feel like a choice. I just want you to know that witnessing (and I choose this word very intentionally) the intensity of a mother’s grief today has made carrying my own feel more bearable. I can see from so many of the comments that you are doing this for many other’s too, a beautiful legacy for your lovely Molly xxx
You're so brave to share this in an unfiltered, completely honest way. I was in tears, still am. My third child was born prematurely on the morning of my birthday in 1993, and he died several hours later that night. I held him after they took him off life support. I was detached because I was in shock. A few of my nurses and other support staff were sobbing. On my birthday every year, I open a box that I have tucked in my closet with his photo, his footprints, and the blanket I held him on. His ashes are in the ocean. The pain of losing him (David) was a pain I'd never felt before or since. I grieved so deeply.
I literally shudder to think of your pain, and I so admire your courage for talking openly about all of it. It WILL help people understand that even though we smile and carry on however we can in our grief, the pain never leaves us. My belief is that Molly will always be with you in your cherished memories and in your heart.
Stay strong.
Kaye, I’m at a loss. I can’t find the words. Your sharing about Jon is deeply sad and beautiful. I can picture him, and I believe that Molly is with him, reaching out to him, maybe touching his face. As I write this I ‘see’ Molly standing next to you, smiling/beaming, as you talk with us. She’s so proud of you and is lending you strength and comfort.
Just thank you for being so real and unafraid and raw. You are helping all of us more than you know. As a friend says “ Arms around.”
Not depressed. Very sober. Very moved. Very connected to the preciousness of life. ❤️
I have those questions about our future for my three grandchildren - so beautiful and loving and innocent.
I don’t know but I think we see our loved ones . So many speak of experiencing them.
I feel everything you’re feeling, Kaye. In fact, had many of your shared feelings today. My wife went away for the weekend and being home with the boys without her felt like another part of me missing. Going through all the normal activities in life without someone who is usually there.
Matt, I am so grateful that my friend, Jen, told me about you and your family, and that we've connected. No one can understand this the way that we do. Being understood is everything. I hope to meet you in person someday.
Kaye, I am at a loss for words. My beautiful, 96 you mother passed last year and I am still waiting for the big cry that is in me. I miss her intensely. I too worry about what is ahead for my grandkids. Hugs from NH
Kaye - I think it's great you're trying to cut down on wine consumption for health reasons. It's something I'm also trying to do. Sending love.
I truly feel your pain although I never had a child. I couldn't physically. With that said, I've had other losses I had to face - It about destroyed me. I'm a fragment of who I was in some ways but, I'm also stronger than many who don't get the *knowledge I have learned from my losses.
I believe Molly is around you.
She visits & goes back to Heaven. As does my Mother.... She kisses me goodnight on the forehead every night. I felt it before and thought something was on my hair or face. Nope. It's her. It was validated by a good friend of mine who's a natural Empathic. She doesn't do it for a living or anything. It just happens. She doesn't look for it to happen. I asked her what she saw and she told me. It confirmed the touching I feel on rare occasion, at night on my head area laying in bed.
However, we can't always feel them or even see them. It's an energy that happens & it's amazing when it does happen. But, it doesn't mean you aren't being loved or visited or touched if you don't feel it.
Its a fascinating thing. It's got no rhyme or reason ...the spirit is powerful but it also has limitations on human form . I think.
We humans limit ourselves a lot by overthinking and expecting.
Usually in our most relaxed state of being, we can encounter a spirit by seeing, gearing &/or feeling them.
Children are very protected on the other side of here. Children souls are taken to Heaven when they cross over into the light.
. And you're still going through heavy grief. So, you aren't able to receive her from her realm like some around you have bc the mouse and pain is so loud.
It's ok. She loves you immensely. Don't ever think she's not around bc she is..she comes and goes. She is alive in her spirit...soul.
She does sit with you all.
Yes our loved ones can do that in Spirit form. They can move about. They learn as they go.
It's amazing actually.
So, I think something that can help.ypu is to sit & talk to her like you use to. She's still able to hear you. Call her. Laugh with her. Cry..laugh..feel . It's ok. She's gone from her human form body, but her SOUL is always alive.
Ever look into reincarnation? It's very real for many of us. Eventually the soul moves onto another life but not until this one is fulfilled.
THAT is not written for us to see. We don't know the exact time of this as we live on Earth. It'll happen naturally when our spirits are ready I presume. Idk. All I know is we don't live one life. We live many. Most of us do, if not all of us.
You asky Why Molly? Accidents happen and it just happened. No real planned reason. It just happens. That's why life is so precious. ❤️
I'm sending you love and support..
Know that God is real. Jesus is real. They are both the Light. The light envelopes your daughter & all your loved ones gone before her.
God adores you all. He knew us in spirit form before we came here as humans. Try to imagine that and Molly smiling at you. God and Molly. They're both there.
Love, Ancilee (Princess of God is the meaning of my name at birth)
I was an Atheist teenager. I grew out of it and towards God and then Jesus eventually. It took me 45 years .I'll be 60 in June. Peace be with you. That's what God wants for us. Peace within. Knowledge. Understanding.
You've experienced true love with Molly your daughter, your boys=children, husband & Family. You're God's child. Remember that. I'm not talking religion.
Spiritually, you are God's child, so is Molly....
.... EVERYONE IS connected to the Light before and at birth and in death unless they refuse to go into the Light up on death of their bodies. It is what it is. Most go right into the Light. No reason not too.
I feel Molly did just that.
She had others on the Other side waiting for her. Family.
❤️
Yes we miss them but they know that and love us still. XO. Molly definitely loves you and she's not going anywhere. She's still around her family and also goes to her home in Heaven.
We learn things there ..to let go ..to see things we didn't before.
And we do that here too.
All in time..we learn more and more. That's God's plan...love, learn, grow. God bless you all. I'm sending a prayer to Molly now. I feel she's ok. I just feel calm and see smiles in my minds eye. That's it. She's beautiful and glowing. ❤️.
Sorry for the typos that sound crazy. My phone is a bit wacky at times. It just replaces words like I'm not even typing . Anyhoo. I apologize.
Thanks for sharing with us. I hope it’s OK to inquire about Emerson and her family.
The first anniversary of my losing my Jordan is next week. It's always there, the pain is intolerable but the world keeps spinning on and so must we, I suppose. Everything you share hits home. Sadly, as my only child, it's very difficult.
Dear Kaye, I met you in Twitter while Molly was in ICU. You have come a long way, but you are right we are broken parents, and never will be whole again. So true so many others that have never lost a child do not understand what we go through every day and night. So happy to hear Nate and Eli have the support of that grief camp to go to. Thank you for letting me listen to your podcast. And no Hallmark has not declared a special day for us, we are invisible.